Leadership Isn’t a Mic Drop – It’s a Listening Tour

Lessons from the Early Days of Trying Too Hard

Early in my career, I had something to prove. A lot, actually. Like many young, aspiring hotshots in hospitality, I thought leadership was about having the boldest ideas, the fastest fixes, and the firmest handshake. I didn’t just walk into a new role – I burst through the doors as if I had years of experience behind me which of course, I did not.

Let’s just say… humility wasn’t my default setting.

I came in hot – suggestions flying, structures changing, menus tweaking, standards enforcing – and left more than a few bruised egos and moderate to severely annoyed colleagues in my wake. My intentions weren’t malicious. I wanted to succeed. I wanted the team to win. But I confused doing with leading, and momentum with alignment. I was chasing credibility at the speed of light – and forgetting that trust doesn't move on a bullet train.

Fast forward to now, and thank God – literally – for growth. Age, experience, and a few hard knocks (and wiser colleagues) have helped me understand one simple truth:

You don’t earn your place by proving you're the smartest person in the room. You earn it by showing you're the most willing to listen and understand.

Observe Before You Intervene (Or: Don’t Be That Guy)

In the past, I treated new roles like a fixer-upper. Walk in, spot the cracks, and start hammering away. But leadership is't about renovating someone’s work life before learning how they actually live in it.

These days, when I step into a new team – whether it’s a restaurant, a corporate office, or a chaotic hybrid of both – my first move is to shut up and watch. Who’s keeping the ship afloat? Who’s quietly putting out fires? What’s the real rhythm of the operation?

Asking “What’s working for you here?” is far more powerful than announcing what’s about to change.

A unified team doesn't happen by accident, it's the result of shared purpose, earned respect, and time spent listening before leading.

Buy-In > Compliance

Sure, you can bark out orders and most people will nod – especially if they think your title comes with a guillotine. But real traction? That comes from buy-in, not fear.

I’ve learned to take the time to explain the “why” behind a decision. Not just the shiny strategy stuff – the human reasons. As I've gotten older, I've learned to embrace the concept of "Emotional Intelligence". It’s truly amazing what happens when your team sees the bigger picture, knows where and how they fit, and feels invited to contribute.

Charisma can make you popular. Clarity and consistency make you a LEADER.

Audit the Ecosystem, Not Just the Individuals

Back then, I’d zero in on who wasn’t “cutting it” before asking why. Now? I look at the system. The communication flows (or lack thereof). The accountability gaps. The whispered frustrations. Sometimes the problem isn’t the player – it’s the playbook.

Before switching out the engine, check if the fuel’s contaminated.

Spot the Builders (and Hold Onto Them for Dear Life)

Every team has unsung heroes – the ones who stay late, keep the peace, know where everything is, and magically make stuff work without fanfare or seeking credit. Early in my career, I missed them. I was too distracted by the loudest voices, flashiest resumes, or the ones who sucked up to me the most.

Now? I seek them out. They’re the real MVPs – the culture keepers, the team glue. And they’re often the first to leave if they feel overlooked.

The best leaders don't rush to judge - they take the time to see clearly. Thoughtful assessment is the difference between disruption and direction

Say What You’re Evaluating – and Why

No one likes to feel like they’re being watched in silence. I’ve learned to be transparent about what I’m looking at and how I’m making assessments. It reduces fear, invites dialogue, and builds mutual respect. I recently had to make some tough decisons towards the end goal of reducing our payroll. But before the evaluation even began, I took the time to have a candid, heartfelt one-on-one meeting with all my department heads to explain my thought process, and how it would be conducted. Even though bad news was to follow, at least they were informed and prepared.

It’s not about being soft. It’s about being fair.

Don’t Mistake Movement for Progress

In my early days, I thought the faster I moved, the more impressive I’d look. But now I know… leadership isn’t a race – it’s a relay. And if you sprint out of the gate without looking back, you’ll probably trip over your own ego (been there).

Quick moves can win applause. Thoughtful moves build legacy.

Elevate Without Alienating

When it’s time to spotlight talent, I do it with care. I make it a point to celebrate wins - even the smallest victories - in public. Recognizing the team before the individual is standard operating procedure. And when hard calls need to be made, I strive to deliver them with empathy – not arrogance.

Looking back, I thank God for His grace. For the teams and former bosses who gave me second chances. For the people who whispered “slow down” when I was speeding toward burnout or being tuned out. And for the realization that leadership isn’t about commanding a room – it’s about reading it first.

Leadership isn’t a spotlight – it’s a mirror. And for a guy like me, it took years (and a few painful reflections) to realize what I was really projecting.

But that’s the journey. And I wouldn’t trade the lessons – or the laughter – for anything.

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